Have you ever asked yourself, “Is this all there is? Is this what I have to look forward to for the rest of my life?”

I can’t tell you how many times someone has come to my office asking me to help them change one thing about themselves so they can be happy. Whether it’s weight, getting into or out of a relationship, or making more money. The mindset is: “If I just lost weight, I’d be happy” or “If I had a lot of money, I’d be happy”. 

Can it really be that one thing is preventing them from being happy, from living a fulfilling life? You may be reading this and nodding enthusiastically. But, I’m going to challenge you to think differently. I’m going to ask you to entertain the thought that it’s our thoughts, our mindset, that makes us happy or not – not our weight, our bank account or our spouse.

What can you do, starting now, to help you feel happy and fulfilled? 

1- Focus on the positive when thinking about the present and future. It doesn’t mean you turn a blind eye to all that’s negative in the world, it means you focus on, spend your time thinking about what’s positive. And that just takes practice. When you notice yourself dwelling on the negative, stop, look around you and find something or someone that’s positive in your life and direct your thoughts to that. Thinking about the negative is just a habit, and like all habits, it can be changed with practice.

2- Be grateful. Start by thinking of one thing for which you are grateful and then add more to the list. It helps to write a gratitude list and as you add things to the list or read the list, really focus on each item and visualize it.

3- Be mindful. Focus on the here and now, on where you are, what you’re doing right now. Thinking about the future often leads to anxiety as we may tend to imagine all that might go wrong. Don’t let your imagination get carried away, instead, pay attention to the present.

How can you be happy? Learn to think differently and practice, practice, practice.